Surprise! Surprise! There are actually female solo travellers who aren’t looking to hook up and test drive the rutting studs looking for a fling and less than that even.
Stereotypes abound and different cultures seem to produce some men with the same mentality, that a solo female traveller equals a loose woman. People find love while travelling all the time, I am sure. Let’s be clear I am talking about those men who see us female solo travellers as nothing but a piece of meat and greet us head on with their oh so lovely proposal for a proverbial romp in the hay.
If you start thinking that this must have happened in only this specific country or that one, you would be incorrect. This one thing seems to transcend cultures.
Mr.Cruisin’ in the red BMW in Prague
Camera hanging from my shoulder, soaking up the scenery as I stroll to the hostel, there is a persistent honking of a horn, so of course I check to see what is happening. No,”hi, hello, how are you?” Nope, nothing, instead I am greeted by a display of the crudest most vulgar of actions that would be a disrespect to even a woman in the flesh trade.
I look on my clothes, the camera on my shoulder facing him and think, what about me screams I am looking for a hookup. Is it because I am alone? Is it because I am black and black women in the city are in the flesh trade? So many questions run through my mind. Some stereotyping must be at play.I fix my head firmly ahead and keep moving until he gets the message.
Mr. All Women Travelling Alone is Looking for Sex
Finally, I am here without a crush of people and I can enjoy finally being at Trevi Fountain. A travel dream came true. Reality has a way of smashing solitude and bringing us back down to earth. Reality on that morning was an Italian guy who took it upon himself to offer his services as one ready and willing to please my fleshly desires – because I must be in heat since I am a solo traveller who came all the way to Italy to meet him to get my groove on.
Here we go again, stereotype alert, loud and blaring. Of course, I treated him to a few choice words and went to another section to soak up the experience I was there for since I have my priorities in order.
Mr. I Love You Right After Meeting You
Solo female travellers need to be alert, suspicious, extra cautious and use common sense. You can’t always take someone being nice at face value.Rogues and opportunists know how to wear a certain face to pull people in, we gotta be weary and let people prove themselves over time.
The loose woman stereotype tacked on to being a solo female traveller caught up with me on the streets of Dar es Salaam. This one thought he was slick and played all nice and quasi-gentlemanly before making his pitch. He was saying something, until the “I love you” started gushing in a torrential downpour – I almost busted out laughing. I engaged in the gimmicks and asked what he loved after knowing me all of 5 minutes. He blabbered on and ended with him inviting himself to my hotel room. I did bust out a belly laugh then because I just could not contain it any longer.
I kept laughing and walking and told him in no uncertain terms not to follow and I kept laughing because it was funny and ridiculous and I laughed on.
Other Proposers Who Buy into the Solo Female Traveller Equals Loose Woman Stereotype
I encountered him on a street in Istanbul well dressed; selling carpets in his beautiful shop.
He was a rickshaw driver I had hired for a day in Jaipur and just almost had to kick him in the balls and scrape his eyes out but my righteous rage saw him scurrying away.
He was in Cape Town on business, we were on the same tour to Robben Island and he thought a great way to cap off the day was for me to give him some action in his hotel room-how flattering…NOT!
You are a solo female traveller so you must be a loose woman. This is a pervasive stereotype and very unfortunate for those of us who just want to experience the world on our own terms. Some women do enrich their experiences by romping between the sheets with the locals, to each their own, that ain’t my thing. My standards don’t fall away because I am abroad.
“Treat me like a lady, lady…”